The Big Leap and power tools – are you willing to feel good all of the time?
I am rereading The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks: one of my favorite business books. It's not technically a business book. Rather, it's about how we stand in the way of our own success. And that's one of the most important things I focus on myself to be more successful in my business, and that I work on with my clients to get them the success they dream of and deserve.
One of the first questions Hendricks asks in the book is: are you willing to increase the amount of time you feel good?
Which, at first glance, seems an odd question to ask: of course we want to feel good as much as possible!
But then he goes on to explain that what he means to ask is: are you willing to feel good on the inside, regardless of your circumstances?
And that's where it gets interesting.
Just this weekend, I was triggered to really think about this.
The person who owns the house behind ours (that is directly adjacent to my home office) is doing a complete remodel that is going to take between 1 and 1.5 years.
Which means noise on a daily basis, sometimes even in the evenings and on Saturdays and Sundays. We live in an extremely quiet residential area, and the biggest reason we moved there is because a quiet environment is pretty much one of my basic needs in life. I thrive when I have enough quiet time, and I become kind of insufferable when I don't have enough of it.
It also means I had to move out of my beloved home office.
Because the noise can get really loud, and it's unpredictable. So I never know when I'll be interrupted when I'm doing video calls or shooting a live video. I only moved into my home office about 9 months ago, after spending a lot of time, money and energy converting the shed into the beautiful space it is now.
I try not to feel too frustrated about it.
Because that doesn't help. And I don't want to bring my energy down. But if I'm being completely honest...
I felt super sorry for myself because of this situation. And I blamed my slower than usual month in business on the fact that I felt restless and couldn't work in my home office...instead of on the fact that it was the middle of Summer.
This weekend, I was playing with my kids when it happened: I heard that annoying high pitched sound of an electric saw.
And before I realized it, I shouted "you've got to be kidding me!".
My 2-year old stared at me for a moment. Then he asked me to sing 'the saw song'. (A Dutch children's song - 'zagen zagen wiedewiedewagen'.) And I started to laugh.
Which confused him, so he said "mom angry?". And I said I wasn't angry. But he insisted: "mom angry!". I repeated that I really wasn't angry. Which kind of frustrated him - apparently I am pretty funny to my kid when I get angry. "Why not??" he asked.
"Because I'd rather feel joy." I answered.
He asked me two more times, and I repeated the same answer two more times:
"I would rather feel joy."
And only then, it sank in.
I really would rather feel joy. And in order to feel joy, I need to stop giving my attention to the noise, and to how out of my control the situation is.
I can't control the circumstances. But I CAN control how I feel. And I choose to feel joy.
It's easier said than done of course.
That's because of how our brain works.
My brain has created a shortcut that leads from hearing the sound of a power tool directly to feeling anger, frustration and the thinking that I will never feel calm and relaxed in my own home again. And I now need to stop that train of thought in its tracks and instead think "I would rather feel joy." and then do my best to actually feel that.
Back to your business, and how this is relevant.
As I explained in my previous blog post: we create our reality by choosing our vibrations. Our thoughts and feelings have vibrations, and by choosing thoughts and feelings that have the vibration of what we want, we can get whatever we want in life.
How do you want to feel in your business?
Do you want to feel frustrated because you don't have the success you want yet, or do you want to feel joyous expectation for all the clients that are on their way to find you?
Do you want to feel scared that you won't be able to make it work? Or calm and confident that you are heading in the right direction?
And do you want to feel that way, regardless of the circumstances?
It starts with a decision.
So I decide to feel joy when I am in my home. I will pretend it's Chip an Jojo who are working there when it gets really bad (please tell me you're a fellow Fixer Upper fan). And I feel thankful that I get to work from my dad's office during the time that I'm home office-less. And full of joyous expectation for when my neighbor is all moved in and I get to work in my own office again!