You get to change your mind - Dr. Marianne van den Broek

You get to change your mind

If you are reading this blog, you need to get this message: it is okay to change your mind! Whether it is something small, like returning a dress that you thought was perfect when you ordered it, to something life changing like giving up a lucrative career to start doing what you love.

The reason why you are not giving yourself permission to do so yet, is often not what you think it is.

You may feel in your heart that you need to make a change, but you won't take action. Because you feel you need to follow through. Finish what you started. 

And so you keep pushing.

Losing energy and sleep. Not living your full potential. (Or not wearing the dress that will make you feel drop dead gorgeous the whole evening.)

I see it a lot in the women I work with.

Just this morning, I met with a brilliant person. She has built and sold multiple businesses. Does amazing work with successful CEOs. And now, her gut feeling was telling her that it was time to change directions with her coaching business. 

She knew what she had to do, but couldn't bring herself to take action.

She told herself that she wasn't quite sure what direction to take yet. 

She told herself that she was afraid the new direction wouldn't be as successful.

And that she may not be the right person for this job. 

Do any of these excuses sound familiar?

The real reason she was holding herself back? 

She had this deeply ingrained belief that you should follow through on your actions. And, given her background of already building and selling a number of businesses, that changing her mind again was simply impossible.

She even described herself as 'flaky'. 

This brilliant, mega successful woman thought of herself as unreliable and found herself weak. 

Can you believe it?

We started digging, and she realized that this belief about herself was actually not her own. Her father had always told her to not 'be a quitter'. From the time she had joined a field hockey team and realized, within 2 weeks, that she really wasn't into playing team sports, he had pushed her to 'make a plan and stick to it'. She was 7 when this happened.

She could now see that this fear around not finishing what she started was actually about her father's regrets about his own life choices. 

And that her ability to push past her own doubts had made her very successful, on paper, but also really disconnected from what she truly wanted from life. 

mountain road

This is often how it works. We adopt a belief that is really not our own, at an age when we still look primarily to our parents to teach us about how to live in this world. And before we know it, the belief feels like it is our own. And it feels like the belief is beneficial to us.

It's not anyone's fault.

Our parents teach us these life lessons with the best intentions.

My client's father thought he could help her achieve the things she wanted, by preventing her from making the same mistakes he did. And she truly felt that her habit to push herself past any discomfort or doubt, was what made her so successful. 

While in fact, it was something she needed to let go of, in order to live her true potential. 

Because when she did, her whole face lit up. She suddenly knew exactly what she wanted to do and how to execute it. She even left our session early, because she was so eager to get to work straight away!

Letting go of limiting beliefs can bring instant clarity and make you feel free.

What is the one belief about yourself that you can let go today, that will help you give yourself permission to change directions?

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